A friend once told me...

"I don't like change and change doesn't like me". I personally cannot disagree.  A few weeks ago I loved where I was at in my life. I had great friends, a great social life, a great job, and an environment that I loved being a part of. I was ready to start my senior year of school off and make new friends and retain the strong friendships I had at Raintree.  A lot has changed since then. Don't get me wrong, I am still happy with my life, but it hasn't particulary gone the way that I have planned. I moved to a new apartment, which I love, but the people....well that will probably take some time. I don't feel like I have made one new friend in the time that I have been here.  I know, I know,  just give it time-and I will- but in the meantime, I feel like I am just stuck in a rut.  

Once you move away from your group of friends, it is a lot harder to keep in contact with them like I did when they lived just across the sidewalk.  They all live in the same place, I don't.  I miss being able to just skip over to an apartment of people that I knew to say "Hi, How was your day?" I felt so comfortable, so welcome at Raintree, and now, now I feel the exact opposite. Uncomfortable and unwelcome. School isn't what I thought it was going to be either. Now that I am entering my senior year, I am starting to doubt whether I chose the right major...one that is completely unmarketable and one that many people see as useless. I like it, but what do I want to do with my life? I have absolutely no idea....No, I do know what I want to do with my life, but right now that isn't a choice.  This semester is going to be challenging, hard, stressful. Not exactly what I was looking for this semester. Classes that I thought were going to be fun, intriguing, challenging, but enjoyable are classes  that I can't wait to end. 17 credits and working 15 hours a week is not easy, and it shouldn't be, but being in class for 9 hours straight in a day wears on you fast....For crying out loud, it is only the 2nd week of school and I feel like I am in over my head!!!!

And last complaint of the night, I promise, I think that I am getting sick. Things are bound to look up soon. I just need to get in the groove, find my comfortable spot, and go with the flow, but until then, I guess I will just sit at home most nights twiddle my thumbs and do my homework until my brain explodes!!

p.s. The picture is of when Cassie and Nolan came to visit me out at BYU. I was really happy that they came to visit and I think they realized why I like it here in Utah so much (even though I may be frustrated with it right now!) I hope that they had fun....