When I was younger (okay, like a year ago) I always promised myself, "When I get married and have kids I will never let myself go." The other week, I was asked to start coming into work earlier, and it didn't take me long to realize that the promise to myself was a bunch of bologna (thank you Oscar Meyer for never letting me forget the spelling of bologna). 45 minutes added onto work in the morning has not resulted in my alarm clock going off earlier. No, it has resulted in me taking less showers, putting on less makeup, more ponytails, and clothes that are just a little more wrinklier than they were before. Also, I have stopped going to the gym in the morning, resulting in a flabbier gut. Cute, I know.